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Hurricane. Katrina.
What the fuck is wrong with this country? I can't watch the news anymore because they relate EVERYTHING to the goddamn hurricane.
So I've been in a splendid mood the last two weeks. Even Salon.com isn't safe. I tried to read This Article but couldn't get passed the first sentence. What the hell does "indecency" have to do with a hurricane, I asked.
...
...
NOTHING!
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
The two arn't even related by any means what so ever, but there it is, fucking my eye balls.
Earlier today I required a frosty beverage. On my way into the store I noticed a guy giving out free samples of the newspaper, quickly I ducked away from his gambit eyes and disappeared behind the self-moving doors. On the way out however, I wasn't so lucky to skip his gaze...
"Free paper?" he asked with a smirk.
"Umm.." think quick. Beat him at his own sinful game. "Umm.." I said again, "Only if you can find an antical that doesn't mention the fucking hurricane, New Orleans, FEMA, Bush, or water."
Dumb struck he began to examine the front cover. Recoiling in failure at my request he actually opened the paper and began to skim thru it.
Before this goose chase could fully ensue I said, "Look, man, I don't have all freakin' day. Give me call in two month's when your shitty journalists move on to something move stimulating like Brittany Spears' cracker spawn."
But now I have to ask myself, am I so callous that I've lost all hope of salvation for the world's immutable problems? Has my promiscuous use of logic shriveled my humanity to lifeless neutrons? Am I such an ogre?
Naw, I'm just bitter because I'm not in that newspaper.
Oh, and Poo's Huffalump Moive is out on DVD, has been for some time now. Why haven't you rented it? It's better than having the squirks for 2 hours...
You haven't even considered renting it have you?
And that's how you begin and end a sentence with the same word.
You the man, Derek! *bah-dump-ching!* posted on Sep. 18, 2005 |
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