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Warning: THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE TRUTH
Ha ha. Yeah.
Is it just me or has the whole world gone fucking insane. On the bright side, I convinced my ex to brake it off with her current BF. Now at least I don't have to think about what they're currently doing with each other, I can just agonize about what she did do with him.
And the comic was all me, sort of. I had this dream about fighting in a Lord of the Rings movie and the orges armor was weak under the neck and underneath the arms and some old guy accidentally shot one right in the throat.
Good times.
I have no idea what that has to do with my current single status or why I'm currently single. But besides work, it's the only thing I really think about, and putting a sword through a printing press just isn't very realistic. However, the suggested ties between a sword through the face and my current emotional state have real life value. Not just for me, but for future generations to come.
My social anxiety has gotten worse, my ego is crushed into fine sand, and my ability to express anything besides distrust and hatred for the female gender has become unwavering. Although, I still treat her with respect, because you never know. And I'm not going to pretend to something I'm not just to keep a girl close to me. If she felt this way FOR YEARS, why the fuck didn't she say anything? That's not a relationship, that's a decent friendship with sex involved. Now that we're not together (and after the awkward after taste wore off a little bit) we've been civil to each other.
The first person I called was my father. He was worried that I would hurt someone (that cheating bitch and her shit head boy toy) or my self. He said one thing to me that got me off my rock. He said, "Be cool. Cool like Gandhi."
And I said, "Dad, I am Gandhi." Because when you fall that far, that fast, and that hard, it puts you in you're place. Gandhi. Buddha. Peace. Tranquillity.
I am, however, nothing like Jesus. Jesus would have forgiven her (possibly, the bible is so full of shit, who knows what can be taken to heart).
I however, can not. Because no matter how bad things got or how good, how poor or rich, sick or fit, I would have followed her into hell. I what fucking kills me, is that she doesn't believe that. I couldn't prove it to her. And because of my "quirks" I probably never will.
So what's the answer? Do I get drunk with my friends every night to kill the pain, argue my point, warn the couples I see, educate the young, sleep with strangers?
Pills? Therapy?
If you can't trust the ones you love...? The ones you think love you...?
Be the Buddha. Be Gandhi. posted on Feb. 11, 2006 |
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