There are three horrible things about going to the movies. The worst of these is dealing with all you fucking people (not you specifically, you and me are buddies). The other two are dealt with in this comic.
If the prices at the concession stand don't get you then the diabetes you get from upgrading your 64 gallon soda to and 80 gallon soda for just a quarter more surely will. Then after I go into debt getting in the door and past the crack stand there are American Express commercials before the movie... and often during the movie in a slightly more subtle way. That's why from now on I'm forgoing the cinema and am, instead, staying home to watch Amish TV. The Amish haven't invented advertising yet.
So there's my rant about that. Now click on some of our ad's so we can go to Vegas and drink copious amounts of FREE booze.
There arn't enough shark attacks anymore. There should be more. If there was like, say, 2 a week, life would be more interesting. I would like to see, "The Hills Have Eyes" but I need a girl to go with. I would also like to go to a concert where the audience is mainly women. And I want to watch women's tennis.
I am somewhat distressed that the ads on this page have decided we need psychological help. When doctors or judges tell you to seek out mental help that's easy to dismiss, but when it comes from Google that really makes you stop and think. I like to think about hippos.
